More Statues and Some Modest Proposals

I see where Crane Kenney is quoted as saying we are to expect more statues of Cubs greats to surround Wrigley Field. It is easy to be flippant about this, but I, for one, think that once again Kenney has hit the nail on the head. He has found a genuine, low-cost, low-maintenance solution to some of the Cubs woes.

Who doesn't remember the famous Billy Williams catch in the Holtzman no-hitter of days gone by? The image of the savvy Hall-of-Famer waiting for Hank Aaron's drive to blow back into the well is soldered in our brains. And who doesn't think we have a bit of a problem in left field? Well, lets do something about it. We don't need another pricey free agent. Lets just put up a statue of Billy in the same spot, over there in the well. This is a cheap and permanent solution. The statue would have about the same range as our current regular and at a fraction of the cost.

While we are at it, don't we have a problem at first base? What's wrong with a statue of Ernie over there? Or better yet, lets move Aramis Ramirez to first and erect a statue of Ron Santo at third. Again, about the same range and maybe the better solution because Castro has tons of range and could probably handle both positions himself.

Now what's the other hole we have? Manager, of course, and the solution here is again obvious: Lou Piniella. Not the real one, but another statue, probably in one of his natural poses, stoically slumped in the corner of the dugout with a permanent scowl, or else just taking a nap. And how about Lee Elia, permanently seated at the interview dais, screaming obscenities at those lazy fans?

This idea has legs! Maybe wings! If only Cubs fans would get behind genuine innovations instead of carping about big contracts and high ticket prices and what not, wouldn't we all be better off? Think about the money this could free up to finance Ricketts' quest to buy up the rest of Wrigleyville? Maybe if he is successful, we could soon see a statue of Hack Wilson staggering out the door of the Cubbie Bear, arm in arm with Babe Ruth. We can dream, can't we?